Alexandra Beech on Becoming the Person I am happy to be
How nice to be a guest blogger. It is lovely to be in someone else's space and having a natter.
As you read this I am a bit older than when I was writing it, as it was my birthday yesterday the 28th June. I am now 44 and I don’t feel embarrassed about sharing that with you as I feel I am in that happy place where I never expected to be.
It is not that I have had a bad life. On the contrary I had a happy childhood and averagely happy adulthood so far. It has been pretty...average. I met my husband in my thirties, and had a child at 35. That was better than averagely happy. From then on I have been on the path to who I really am.
I do not want you to read this and think ‘uo oh- she is wittering on about herself’. Well, ok yes I am a bit. But I am more talking about how you should feel confident in being you.
It has taken me some 40 years to be happy being the odd person I am. Happy enough to wear yellow t-shirts and dye my hair a vibrant red and happy enough to say – yes I am self-employed and I sew, I make buttons.
I work with children (when I am not making buttons). You can see their fear of being different but their desire to be who they are. I remember that, do you? I try to explain that it is ok to be different, to stand out, that the people who do are the ones who become something in the world.
My daughter is a huge Tintin fan, and this year she dressed as Snowy, Tintin’s dog. I made the costume and she was so very happy to wear it. Of course, some children laughed and she was in tears. I felt terrible and I blogged about it, and received lots of lovely support from my readers and crafty friends. I tried to tell my daughter that she looked great and that other children might be jealous, and pick on anyone that looked a bit different than the usual Disney Princess. Now, a few months later she is talking about next year’s competition. She wants to be Captain Haddock (complete with beard). I asked her if she would worry about people saying anything because she was not dressed as a pretty girl. ‘No,’ she replied ‘it is good to be something different’. Of course I was pleased and I hope that her confidence in herself is growing so that she can cope with outside knocks, and that it will not take her 30 years to be happy with who she is.
Until recently, if someone asked me what I do, I was really embarrassed and used to laugh and mutter something about sewing, blah, blah. I am confident to answer now that I sew, I make buttons and accessories. I mean if I am embarrassed about it for goodness sake, why should someone else be interested in what I do? It has also helped greatly to have the support of like-minded people that I have met in the crafting world, through Etsy, Folksy, forums like Crafteroo and Popular Crafts, and on Facebook and Twitter. Also, I have become better known and have had tutorials and been featured in a couple of magazines. I have even made buttons for the film industry (details to be released later but it is all rather exciting!). It is a circle of confidence: - I become happy and confident - I am proud of my work and want to show it - I become better known - I become happier and confident, etc
So this is what I want to say – dye your red red and.., no not that. Be yourself, you are great!
http://www.bigbluebed.co.uk
http://www.bigbluebed.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/people/bigbluebed
Twitter: @bigbluebed
Thank you Alix, that's a beautifully written and interesting post! I recently 'discovered' (you know how we have epiphanies, of things that are actually really obvious) that I am a very shy person lacking in confidence - and that is who I am. Having admitted it I am able to walk more confidently through the world!
ReplyDeletebbb that is lovely, and excellent advice. I wish I'd learned earlier that it's ok to be me, I spent far too many years trying to be the person I thought I was expected to be. Wonder if it's a girl thing?
ReplyDeleteA lovely post, and I totally agree. I'm loving my 40s - confident and content. I'm going to have a look at your button work, too x.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous post! I think I am still some way to accepting me, but I try every day adn will get there! xx
ReplyDelete**bounces around the blog** What a great post, and I love the Snowy hat..
ReplyDeleteI'll get mummy to check out your buttons as I'm not allowed near them, in case I eat them
BB xxx
Thank you all for your kind comments. I really enjoyed being a Guest Blogger and writing this post. And it is nice to read all your comments, and see that although we are 'grown-up' we still have the same feelings.
ReplyDeleteOh I think we can all relate and funny as one gets older the confidence can wane. A good read thank you. May I suggest Eat, Pray, Love and fantastic book and confirming that you can be who you want to be
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post! I'm sorry your daughter's feelings were hurt, but it's easier to learn these lessons while you have a supportive parent to see you through. You both sound like fantastic people!
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post. Your daughter obviously feels happy with herself and can be who she wants to be. Good for her and well done to you. Ali x
ReplyDeleteGreat, highly appreciated
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